Office Women Hunt Fresh Young Man

My boss's son came to the office today. He has just moved back home. Suddenly I noticed a commotion near my desk. Giddy women. Excited whispers. Definetly not claims processing. I turn to see what is goin on. The boss is in her cubicle talking to her son. One lady is truly off her rocker with delight. It is contagious because the other girls quickly become afflicted. She has filled their heads with the promise of his exquisite physical beauty. She has come up with a very sophisticated plan where we all will suddenly have to go to the bathroom at the same time and walk by the boss's cubicle and take a look. We agree that this is the best plan of action. We take our mark. We set. We Go.

Did I mention I was afflicted as well? Any excitement in the office will pull me away from work. Such is the life of the office rat.

We walk by. I notice that he is much darker than our um, white boss. The product of a mixed marriage, I think. I call it the Mutt Syndrome. I am a mutt. So I can say that. He is somewhat nice looking. The quick glance that I got. The group then comes to a hault not 6 feet away and begins giggling in excitement and exchanging any and all information on him. Bare in mind some of the women are mothers of children his age. He happens to be a couple years younger than I. Sucks. I still join in. We travel back once more. We run into the Bah Humbug (a dramatically depressed young man who hated the holidays and tried to make everyone feel sorry for him)"Oh?" he says. "You all had to go to the bathroom at the same time? Ha-ha." He is such a knee slapper. It turned out that later he was the rat who scored the information on the entrance of the son in the first place. He is a giddy girl too.

So we have women who are his mother's age gushing over the bosses son. Then there's the girl we thought only liked girls,(does she think we don't know?) And my only friend has the guts to say," Eh, he's not all that." And she goes back to her desk to work. I on the other hand do not want to work. So I entertain the girls by walking many errands in front of the boss's cubilce and stealing blatant peaks at him as they cheer me on.

It is my conquest now. I will be the winner. He will ask his mom about me later tonight. Who was that dark haired girl with the sexy walk? What was her name mother? I must have her! I was doing that thing again where I imagine my self meeting this new person and instantly having that connection. I put a spell on him. I will possess his attention. He will think nothing but me all day long until finally he will have only me, and I will tease him. I will push him with my finger and ask how many girls he thought of that day and he would plead that he had thought of none but me! I will pretend not to believe him and he will try to impress me and grant my every desire. I will let him think he is winning. And then-

I don't know why I do that. These thoughts entertained me the rest of the day. Later my boss was talking about him the the girls how proud she is of him and even how she thinks he is a great catch. There was a strange envy I shared with the other girls. The conquest. I should win. I am better than them. Probably not unlike that of reality show girls who try to impress the Bachelor. Winning. Imagination. Girls are very competetive. See what just the smell of fresh boy flesh in the office brings out the bitch in all of us. I didn't want him because I wanted him. I wanted him because they wanted him.

I bet there's more to it in our brain chemistry and pheremones and such. It's just so silly. Instincts.

old junk ...new junk