Your Application has Been Rejected

%%diary-crazyglue%% had an Excellent idea: My pretend best friend. Shhh. Keep it on the down low.

To have a believable pretend best friend, one must be creative. And creative I am! Also, since the best friend will be pretend it is imperative that no one sees the best friend. They will always have to be busy or tied up at the moment when questioned about the whereabouts of said best friend. But also they must be extravagant and loyal to myself. I will have incredible annecdotes of the mischief we get into. I will talk of nobody else but my best friend. In which case, if I am reminded of a story where my brother was chasing the cat and fell face first into the sand box, I will replace 'my brother' with 'my best friend'. That way when 'my best friend' had this silly little fall and sand in their mouth it was funny for both of us because I was quick to point out that the sand box also doubled as kitty's litter box.

This is a most excellent idea. I will have to create a synopsis of where we met and how much we have in common. I'll just fashion my best friend around myself to prove how much we are alike.

I'm so excited. I get to create someone. Like being GOD. I always wanted to be a god. Smite those who are wicked and torture the young. That's why my favorite game is Black and White but it didn't give me as much power as I had hoped. Still, indeed being Almighty and Omnipotent has its added perks. And a pretend best friend will never dis me for someone else. Sure we'll have our fights. But then we'll make up and go shopping and rent movies.

Anyway, I'm sure you're going to hear all about my best friend very soon. Until then, don't wait up.

old junk ...new junk