Rant on the Psycho Stalker Boy

Hmmm. For some reason I rememeber updating my diary since last week, and yet it looks as if I haven't. Perhaps I'm going mad? No, no, no, that happened long ago. Perhaps I'm coming out of it.

Sorry, stupid humor.

Nutshell News:
The dress fit fine. The wedding was beautiful. I had a great time. I forgot about giving blood, wha-? I tried? (Next time I donate, it's money for the candy from the begging children outside grocery stores.) My job sucks, I'm glad its ending. The Psycho-Stalker (whom I probably have not mentioned) at work asked me out, and I regretfully declined. Now he's a stupid mope-face in his excessive, emotional, rejected-boy attitudes around me. WHICH, bytheway, is totally annoying. MORE LATER. My family is concerned about my upcoming joblessness. (While I am joyously looking forward to it like xmas)

And that was, Nutshell News. Join us next time when I talk about how a cat named Benny, once again, got caught in that same old tree!

Psycho Stalker Boy
It's like this: When I was hired, they told me who the nutjobs were, their eccentricities, and to just stay away from them, or nod my head and smile.
He was one of them.

But, I nodded my head and I smiled and I decided he wasn't so bad, and plus it was nice to talk to somebody when you're new, and to have someone talk to you. But he was sort of out there. Kind of like those really annoying people who, once you give them attention they mistake that for genuine friendship and you get stuck with something not unlike the Leech. Unfortunately I don't learn, but I've come to realise, I attract leeches.

I'm just so darn nice.

You can find the unstable Psycho's best around Christmas time. It's a big deal. 'The world is falling apart! OHMIGOD everything sucks! I want to die. Will you go out with me to make everything better?' I had been nice, he wanted an ear (and probably more) from someone nice. It was me. Ugh it was me. I can't just be mean!
I heard about his woes (I'm sorry I don't mean you're all psychos if you have problem in the holidays, it's just a damper to others who want to be happy) Anyway.

I went to lunch with him more after Christmas because he was easier to be around once he started taking different kinds of medication. (another alert that I ignored: if you're only tolerable when you're on medicine, you and I just wont work out, ever.) He began our friendship basicly by saying he was only interested in making new friends. (What a fucking LIE!) I fell for it because I do want to make new friends. Stupid me. And he talks all the time about the girls he likes, only. I fit the description. He thinks we're like minded. I fit the description. I should've seen it coming.

And I think I did, and I bet I lured him on, I act all flirty sometimes because I am a tease, I admit it. I need to figure out why I do this so I can stop it, but still. The premise was, friendship, so I was trying to BE MYSELF.

Then he wants to, "get to know me better outside of work" and a bunch of dating words and other words to remind me of his nice-guyness at his willingness to go slow, because that's what girls like to hear. ha, right. See, I like the safety of knowing people through work. That way if you turn into a psycho stalker, I don't have to worry too much about coming home at night and finding you somehow in my house, say.. chumming it up with the folks and I get home late one night but there you are hanging out waiting till I get home, IN my home. No,no. NO. Definetely not.

After I rejected his dating idea (but said it in friendship only undertones [which he probably took as 'go slower and one day I'll crack']), I couldn't help but become sarcastic and short with him. He somehow had the idea that it was okay to invade my personal space. Or maybe I hadn't noticed before I knew he was liking me.
But of course instead of just telling him, "Hey, you're making me feel uncomfortable when you sneak up on me from behind and lean your head real close to mine and ask what I'm doing, or sit right next to me at a table full of 5 other empty chairs, or do that strange thing where it looks like you're contemplating how big my chest is and start moving your head closer until I move away and ask what-the-hell you're doing and you quickly say you were trying to read the time on my watch. So if you could refrain from these odd perks of yours, we could try to continue like normal civilized people." But instead I take cheap whacks at him with a co-worker (we always do this anyway)or skirt the subject and physically move away from him, yet he runs away like a bullied child on a playground.

Sniff sniff.

I will not feel guilt. Psycho Stalker Boy is a big boy and he should have enough rejection in his life to be able to take it with a grain of salt.

These stupid games we must play. Instilled into our behavior. I am the evil girl who laughs and and points as he dejectfully walks away contemplating murder of all stupid girls.

Ew. I'm disgusted with us all.

old junk ...new junk