Back and Forth

Starting a new blog feels like going outside naked. There's no previous history, everything is stark. And alien. Who am I? Who are you? Who reads blogs? It's evil.

I am moving. And I went to look for someplace to live. It is so hard. Why is it so hard? Am I so picky? It's true I want my place to be great. But I don't have the budget for the best one I saw this weekend. It's sad. And the people who could be potential roommates...there's just not enough space it seems for me. I'm cramped at home. I want to move into a place where I can grow, not another small cramped room in a house that's not really mine. I found one that was big, and fit my budget. But it was lonely and dark. And the land lady was an old haggardly woman I couldn't relate to. There was another one with enough room, yet it was too far away and scary. And do I really want to be by myself?

I looked for roommates. Someone must click with me eventually. I need to be myself. I need to stumble across the perfect place like I stumbled across the perfect job. So then my life will become absolutely perfect. And then from there, I can start to destroy things. HAAHHA.

It will work out. Sometimes I feel like I've done all of this before as I stumble over familiarity in places I've never been. But I've been there before,I think, once before. Maybe many times. In my dreams? Multitudes of repetitions of this very life. Wouldn't memories from the future eventually infiltrate the past?

There's nothing to worry about then. Or is there?

old junk ...new junk